Third timer.

I was more than a little nervous to have a third child. Of course we were excited, we knew how much we would love him, but I laid awake more than a couple nights (thank you preg-somnia!) wondering how on earth I would juggle three. Because to be perfectly honest most days I felt like I was barely keeping my head above water with the two that I already had! Two year old's are loving and sweet and also small unreasonable monsters. And three year old's? They are inquisitive and funny and will ask you questions and argue with you until your brain is mush. Then this magical thing happened...Hunter was born, and everything was like a fairytale....haha just kidding, not even close, but it truly has not been nearly as rough as I imagined.

I had forgotten that being pregnant was effecting every part of my day, my exhaustion, the aches and severe pains, trying to parent from modified bed rest (more on that mess later).  Just being able to be up and around, to keep up with the house, run after my munchkins, it all made an enormous difference. Though I still have moments where I have to ask myself "WHY am I arguing with a toddler?!" or "What on earth is all over my shirt?", I feel much more together than I did in those last couple months of my pregnancy. Having a newborn at this point in my life is much different than it was the first, and even the second time. I am much more relaxed this time around, I know this is our last baby, so I am making a daily effort to cherish each day of this "newborn stage". I am human, I am still tired during the 2AM feedings. I still get frustrated when he screams every single time I lay him down. But I have learned a lot as well, on those days where Hunter wants nothing than to be held? Hold him. If it all possible, sit down, cuddle that baby, housework can wait. And when I absolutely need to be mobile, I put him in a baby carrier and go about my day. When he nurses ALL. DAY. LONG. I have learned that it doesn't mean I am not producing enough milk, there is nothing wrong with the baby OR with me, it is just 100% normal.

Just these few things, makes me think about how much nobody tells a new mom. Nobody warned me that breastfeeding would be hard...like REALLY hard. With our first born I remember thinking that I must be doing something wrong because nursing is supposed to be the easiest most natural thing ever...RIGHT?! Wrong. However after many nights of late night googling, and pure stubbornness, it got better, slowly but surely. I went on to nurse for a full year, with both boys, and I hope to do the same now. I just wish that instead of these parenting books telling moms and dads HOW they should do things, they would remind parents that babies and children are hard, exhausting, and also fantastic, and most of the time you are doing just fine, just take a deep breath and keep going. Everyone will have an opinion, everyone will have an answer, but in all reality, you will end up doing a mixture of "techniques" also known as "whatever works". And you know what? That is just fine.